Someday You Will be Loved..

I once knew a girl

In the years of my youth

With eyes like the summer

All beauty and truth

In the morning I fled

Left a note and it read

Someday you will be loved

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret

Cause each broken heart will eventually mend

As the blood runs red down the needle and thread

Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved

Like you never have known

The memories of me

Will seem more like bad dreams

Just a series of blurs

Like I never occurred

Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep

And every time tears roll down your cheeks

But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet

Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved

Like you never have known

The memories of me

Will seem more like bad dreams

Just a series of blurs

Like I never occurred

Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved

Like you never have known

The memories of me

Will seem more like bad dreams

Just a series of blurs

Like I never occurred

Someday you will be loved

Someday you will be loved

Death Cab for Cutie

**Someday You Will Be Loved**

I love the man who penned these lyrics.. and applaud him for knowing that he's not the right one for a girl.. and instead of being selfish and sticking around, allowing her heart to become involved and hurt even more.. he was honest about who he is and what he is.. and took his leave so that she could find what it is he knew she not only wanted but deserved. That to me is beautiful.. and as much as the little things that have happened to me have hurt.. I'm thankful that these guys knew I wasn't the "one" for them.. nor were they for me.

Loving for me is easy.. Loving me, perhaps, is not.. and kudos to the man who can look me in the eye and say he knows he's not the best choice for me.. not the right one.. and that I need to move on..

Not saying that in light of RK - but just thoughtful about it.. in that, he may not be, and hopeful that if he thinks that, that he would let me move on to those other things, to pursue what it is that I want.. and not keep me here because he likes the companionship of me, or my presence in his life.. I think he is man enough for those things for the most part.. but I also know he needs to be loved.. and I fill that for him right now.. which I love.. fuck, we all know by now that I'm in love with him.. no big secret there kiddos.

I try break things off.. to end it.. look for reasons, but they are never allowed and all seem to be pithy attempts at whatever.. foolish really. One day, perhaps, I will settle in and be comfortable with him and how I feel about him, but not now, not just yet.

~~~~

The depression and despair that I felt yesterday and the day before has dispelled.. Glad to report that I'm normal now. In fact was the moment I was finished cleaning every last inch of my house - my crazy way of having a sense of control in my life. Felt a little bad for my scrooge-like behavior towards RK and my Mom - but lets face it, I hate Christmas, and any other holiday that is family oriented.. get over it.. It may be like this for life.

** No trees were destroyed in the transmission of this entry, however, a few neurons may have been seriously inconvenienced..